Descanza en Piezas
by woodwindbandgeek0830
Summary: "Rest in pieces, because nothing remains of me..." After a traumatic event that had occured, Spain is found lost in his own prolonged sadness and heartbreak. His troubled best friend had given him the worst advice a friend could give. And now, he has decided that he does not want to live any longer. Rated M for suggestive themes, suicidal incidences and language.
1. Prologue

**_Descanza en Piezas, Porque no Queda Nada de Mi - _****Rest in Pieces, because Nothing Remains of Me.**

**This is a story based off of a roleplay with my friend. Very sad and very suspenseful, and we are roleplaying it as we speak.**

**This is the story of what one traumatic event, and a troubled best friend, could do to a man. Spain finds himself in a dark depression that is difficult to break away from, because of who, and what, has influenced him. And as time goes by and the prolonged sadness gets worse, he decides that he does not want to live any longer.**

* * *

_Some call it crazy_

_Some say it's sick_

_But I think it's freedom_

_The pain is fierce but quick_

* * *

_"L-leave him alone!"_

_Struggling in the _ropes again, Spain's eyes watered as he saw what was going on right in front of him.

_How could they do this? How could they do this to my friend?!_

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" cried the screaming victim. "P-per favore..! S-stop, per favore!"

"Stop it!" He struggled again. "Let him go! I-I'll do anything!"

Romano, who was watching the scene in front of him as well, turned his head to look at Spain when he heard him. "You still have to make him pay the price, because you don't listen to my fucking orders!"

He was frantic. "I-I'll stop seeing him, if you want me too! I'll c-cut all ties with Italy. Just leave him alone!"

The smaller Italian screamed again, being tortured beyond recognition under the watchful eyes of his brother, his boyfriend, and two other men in the room. Germany, his ex-boyfriend, was taking pure advantage of him, violating him without his say, and Russia was just waiting his turn to do the same.

That was how it went every day. That's what Italy had to deal with all the time.

But hearing Spain say what he did, he looked back at him, his face twisted in pain. He didn't want him to do that. He didn't want Spain to leave; he loved him too much. He was the only thing in his life that made him happy.

Romano smirked meanwhile. "That's exactly what we want. But you still have to sit there through this. Like I said, we didn't want to hurt you physically, and you didn't listen to my orders. And you know, Russia and Germany aren't exactly..small. It already hurts when being prepared, so imagine what it's like when you're not. Italy's going through a living hell."

Spain's eyes watered as he imagined the pain that Italy was in. He felt his heart break, and he was losing his pure judgment on the world.

"F-fine…I'll stay tied up and watch…. B-but after…c-consider our relationship over."

He nodded, smirking. "That's exactly what we wanted."

Romano's younger brother looked away from Spain, and he stared up at the ceiling as he bit his lip. He had given up now. Now he was going through the motions once more, what he went through every time Germany, Russia, and Romano were in the same room together. This was the norm, but he had hoped that Spain would stay with him. He hated that he was sadly mistaken.

Spain watched this hell continue the whole time. He was yelled at whenever he looked away, so he had no choice to keep his watering eyes glued to them as tears rolled down his cheeks. After Germany, it was Russia; he was even more heartbroken as Italy was continually rammed into, suffering and whimpering because he was too tired to scream. The worst was seeing his own brother do the same to him right after the large Russian.

This was the first time that Spain thought that he wanted to die. Watching the one he loved going through this was way too much for him at that moment. He glanced down at his wrist, seeing the bandages that Italy put on him the night before. Spain wondered if he could do that again, to get rid of his pain, to get rid of his suffering.

After Spain was released from the binding trap, he whispered his condolences to his new ex, promising that one day he will really meet someone who will help him—although the other highly doubted that.

Without exchanging a final hug or kiss, he walked out of the house, not knowing if he would ever see Romano or Italy again.

* * *

_I want to escape from my sadness_

_It's taking over me_

_Why can't I just rest?_

_Why won't it let me be?_

_…I just want to be free…._


	2. Chapter I

**The story has begun. Spain now starts off as the happy, go-lucky guy that we all know and love~**

**Pairings the chapter contains: brief GerIta, suggestions of GerMano, fluffy SpaIta**

* * *

_When he looks at me, he stares...he loves me!  
Then again maybe he glares...he loves me not.  
He smiled! He smiled at me!... He loves me!  
Oh wait! It was the one behind me...he loves me not._

* * *

_Every day started off the same _way in the Carriedo household. Spain always sat back on his couch, started off the morning by eating a tomato, much like his friend Romano did. Then he started randomly playing the guitar throughout the day meanwhile he juggled between cleaning the house, cooking for himself, and then enjoying a solitary game of futbol outside.

Just like any other normal day.

But a phone call in the evening had surprised him. He checked his cell phone and saw that it was Romano, his grouchy partner-in-crime.

"Hola~!" he answered the phone cheerfully.

"Ciao, tomato bastard," mumbled the other. "Uh…can you come over? I-I need to talk to you."

Confused, he nodded. "..Sure. Boss will be right over~."

"Grazie," came the next reply, and he then hung up.

Spain got ready right away, and he was quickly driving to Romano's house. It must be something serious for him to ask him to come over. He was very confused at the time.

After pulling into Romano's driveway, he knocked on the door, letting himself in.

"Hola, Roma~!"

Romano glared at him. "I told you not to call me that, dammit!"

"Lo siento~." He smiled brightly. "Now, tell Boss what's wrong~."

He just gestured him to the couch, and Spain sat there quietly.

"I kind of need your help," Romano simply said.

He tilted his head. "With what?"

He looked down slightly. "…I have a crush on Germany."

Spain was frozen for a moment.

"Really…? Don't you hate him, though?"

"No, I don't, you idiot!" he muttered. "It's just frustrating sometimes!"

Germany was with Italy at the time, and they had been going out for a while. Surely Romano must have known that…did he?

Nevertheless, he smiled at his friend. "Aww, Roma~!"

Romano blushed, giving Spain a glare. "S-shut up!"

"But, it's so cute!"

He sighed heavily, trying to talk to the Spaniard. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm frustrated because Germany never notices me. And he's so rude to me."

Spain really didn't want to tell him that Germany was with someone else. It was good to see him happy…somewhat. But he knew that he'd might as well.

"Romano…I don't know how to tell you this, but Germany is going out with Italy. They actually have been for a while."

He stiffened. Spain could detect sadness in Romano's eyes, but it was immediately replaced by anger.

"F-fucking bastards!" he lowered his head as he glared, gritting his teeth. "Italy always gets fucking everything! Everything! It's not fucking fair, even after…!" He trailed off, trying not to give too much away.

Spain moved slightly closer to him. "Hey, don't be upset. Who needs him? There are other people who'd love to be with you."

"Tch…yeah, right," he mumbled. "No one wants to be with me." He wanted Germany, more than anything or anyone else.

"Sure, they do~!" he assured. "Hey, I'll tell you what. Maybe I can help you."

"How?" he muttered, looking up at the older Spaniard.

Spain smiled a little. "First, tell me what you like about Germany."

Romano didn't even have to think twice. "Everything. His muscles, his personality, and his hair…the way it's always combed back. It makes me just want to mess it up…." He hesitated as he blushed.

He smiled more. "That's so cute, Roma~!"

"I-is not!" he glared as he still blushed. "Shut up!"

He shook his head as he laughed. "Look, Romano. You don't have to get Germany to like you right away. But at least get him to notice you by doing this: keep bugging him every day. Call him until he answers and has a decent conversation with you. Amuse him, too."

Romano doubted what Spain was telling him. "I can't amuse him. That's impossible. And wouldn't bugging him only make things worse?"

"I know, it seems bad, but it works..." Spain assured. "Of course you can amuse him, there's always a way. And even though he's with Venecito a lot, you can find a way to be alone with Germany, _without_ going to drastic measures…."

Romano scoffed quietly. "Tch...drastic measures…." He turned onto his stomach and hid his face in the couch. "I'll probably screw it up with Germany anyways. I should just give up while I am ahead."

He gasped as he heard him. "No, no, no, don't give up! Who knows~? Maybe he will like you after all~. It never hurts to try…."

He shook his head sadly. "Doubt he will. Like I just said, I give up, dammit…."

The Spaniard sighed. "Sometimes you're just _way_ too stubborn. Open your eyes, Romano. There will be opportunities for you to show him and tell him how you feel. You just have to try."

Romano still tried making his declaration clear, but he was too upset. He was crazy about Germany, and meanwhile his little brother was with him, doing who knows what. He'll have to get him for that later, the next time the little bastard would come home.

But in the meantime, he just sighed heavily. "Whatever... I need a hug..." he mumbled quietly into the couch, shifting slightly.

"Now _that_ I can definitely give…." He put his arms around him, forcing Romano to sit up next to him as he hugged him gently.

Romano mumbled cusses in Italian as he hesitantly hugged Spain back, looking away.

"There, that isn't so hard…" he smiled a little as he continued hugging him. "Gracias...for letting Boss help you…."

"You're welcome, I guess..." He still looked away as he hugged him.

Spain savoured these little moments he had with Romano. He loved Romano like he was his son after so many years of taking care of him. Sure, the grouchy Italian was very lazy and didn't like cleaning up around the house, but he loved his company and tried teaching him things in hope that he would put them to practice.

Little did he know that his friend had become a cold man throughout the years, abusing and torturing his younger brother every day and making it seem like it was the norm.

But meanwhile, the Spaniard was in his own little world of happiness that seemed so real…who would have thought that sooner or later, his life would change forever?

* * *

_Romano had forced Spain to spend_ the night, which he didn't mind at all. He had slept in Italy's room, while Romano was still on the couch.

But meanwhile, someone was coming to the house.

Italy was walking home quietly after a night of passionate lovemaking, but instead of a smile on his face, he was sniffling. Anyone that would look at him wouldn't know why he was, and it was a depressing sight.

The truth was, Germany had broken up with him that morning. He had made breakfast for him, but while they were eating, the bulky blonde ended their relationship. He said that it was because he was afraid of hurting Italy every time they even kissed let alone made love. Germany didn't know his own strength; that was his excuse.

_"I'm sorry…" _Germany had sighed. _"I love you, but I can't keep hurting you like this.. We can always go back to being friends..."_

Italy knew Germany only broke up with him for the better, but it made him sad still since he was scared that things wouldn't be the same if they were just friends. Once he was home, he walked up to the door and gripped onto the door knob hesitantly before slowly turning it then opening it, scared about Romano's reaction.

Romano showed no reaction. He was still sleeping quietly and he cuddled more into the couch, not hearing Italy walk into the house.

Spain was in the kitchen when he heard the door opening, and he guessed that Italy was back. He went into the living room to check.

Meanwhile, Italy still had tears in his eyes and he noticed Romano sleeping, which made him relieved. He then noticed Spain when he walked in, and he looked up at him and smiled a little.

"Ciao Spain…" he whispered so Romano wouldn't wake up.

He smiled back at him and whispered. "Hola, Italy~." He froze when he saw that Italy had cried. "...I see tears.. Are you okay?"

Italy shrugged a little and just stood there, scared to walk past Romano to Spain.

"I-I don't know..." He then just looked down quietly.

Spain moved a little closer to Italy, still whispering. "Did something happen..?"

Italy hesitantly spoke. "G-germany broke up with me... He said it was f-for the better, b-because he was always scared of hurting me…and h-he didn't want to hurt me anymore…." He sniffled quietly, wiping his eyes as he felt more tears form."

He looked at him sadly and then hugged him gently. "It's all right, Italy…. Who needs him?"

Italy just hugged him back gently, glancing at Romano nervously as he was still afraid his brother would wake up. "At least we are still friends."

"Well that's good…" Spain smiled a little as he still hugged him. "You'll find someone better than him, I'm sure…."

He then looked up at Spain. "Y-you think so..?"

He nodded. "I know so.. You are going to meet a really great guy one day that's going to treat you like royalty. It's a reward for you being so cute~."

Italy blushed lightly and giggled quietly, wiping his eyes gently. He gave Spain a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Grazie for helping me cheer up a little…."

Spain smiled, seeing Italy was a little happier. "De nada~."

Italy wanted to get away from the house before Romano would wake up, so he tried to think of something. "Can we go out to get ice cream~? I really want some…."

He nodded, smiling a little more. "Si~. Let's go get some."

Italy glanced at Romano again nervously to see he was still sleeping, then smiled when Spain answered with a yes. He then pulled back and grabbed Spain's hand, leading him out of the house.

"Let's go~."

Spain held Italy's hand as he followed him outside. "Okay~."

Italy was the one to close the door once they were both outside, then glanced around as he then started walking in the direction of the ice cream place, smiling a little more when he was out of the house. He then wondered something as he walked, and he looked up at Spain.

"Why were you at our house anyways?" he asked. "Not to be rude... I really do like you coming to our house, but I was just wondering. I thought fratello hates you coming over…."

Spain was a little confused about what he was asking, and then he realized.

"Oh, Roma wanted to talk to me. He was a little upset last night, but Boss made everything all better~." He sighed quietly, thinking aloud to himself. "It was great being over, even though he hates me being there. If only he knew that I love him like I'm his papa…."

Italy listened to him then slowly nodded. "Then why don't you tell him that? I am sure he would appreiate it…." He continued walking, looking up at Spain still.

He looked back at Italy, smiling the slightest. "Maybe...but he's always mad at me…."

"You know that isn't true... If he is mad at anyone, it is me…" He whispered then looked down. "But I am sure he thinks of you and loves you like you were his papa."

Spain wrapped his arms around him, feeling a little more cheered up. "…You're right…gracias, Italy…." Then he thought for a moment. "But he really doesn't have to be so mad at you. You haven't done anything wrong…. I sometimes don't understand your hermano…."

He shrugged a little and smiled the slightest as he glanced up at Spain before looking back down. "It's okay though, I am used to it…."

Spain sighed, knowing that Italy shouldn't be used to his brother being mad at him, although he really didn't know what Romano was doing to him, all he knew was that there was a massive tension.

Italy glanced around quietly, seeing that they were almost there to the ice cream place.

He then heard his phone ring and he pulled it out of his pocket as he stopped walking, looking down and seeing it was his fratello. He stared at the phone for a few seconds nervously before hesitantly answering it.

"C-ciao..?"

He then flinched slightly when he heard his brother's yelling.

"F-fratello no—" He was cut off by Romano yelling once more. "I-I am sorry I left last night... Fratello, I'm not even with him anymore—. And Spain is with me... We are only getting ice cream, I swear...! F-fratello, you aren't list—!"

After being cut off several times, Romano then hung up before Italy could finish. He blinked and stared at the ground as he slowly hung up the phone, sighing quietly.

Spain had realized that it was Romano on the other end when he heard yelling, and he looked down quietly. He didn't know if he should take Italy back now.

"Lo siento, Italy..." he sighed quietly. "We can get ice cream another time, if you want…."

After a second, Italy shook his head as he put the phone away and looked up at Spain, smiling a little. "No, it's okay, I still want to get ice cream right now...if that is okay with you?"

He nodded without any hesitation. "Si, it's still okay with me~."

"Okay~." He smiled a little more and grabbed Spain's hand again, holding it as he slowly started walking again.

He thought about what Romano said, but then he just shook his head slightly to rid of the thoughts that would make him sad again.

Italy started thinking again. "Can we go to the park after?" he asked. "It won't matter to fratello really till I get home, so I really just want to stay out as late as I can...I just have to be home before dark…. He said I have to be home before dark unless I am brining home money…."

He whispered the last part quietly. He referred to Romano thinking that Italy actually was a whore and prostitute, and would stay out late after dark just to sell himself and bring home money, though he never did bring home money, and he had never sold himself before to people. He knew Spain wouldn't get what he meant though.

"Si~," he nodded innocently. "We can stay out as late as you like." He didn't really understand the last part, however. As curious as he was, he didn't ask about it.

"Grazie," he smiled a little as he walked up to the ice cream place, opening the door for Spain.

"De nada~." He walked into the ice cream place and waited for Italy to come in as well. Italy walked in after Spain, closing the door behind himself as he then looked up at him.

Spain looked down back at him. "Gracias, you're so polite~."

"You're welcome~. And grazie." He smiled then led Spain over to the counter.

Spain had meanwhile grabbed his wallet from his pocket after being led to the counter, assuring Italy that he will pay for the ice cream. But Italy had shaken his head when he saw him.

"No...y-you don't have to do that, I can pay for myself…." He was surprised by the kind gesture, but he had his own money to spend for the ice cream.

Spain had nodded, and he put his wallet away.

Italy smiled and looked at the ice cream flavours. "What kind do you want?"

Spain looked at the different flavours, unable to decide at first.

"Hmm...they're all very tempting..." He then saw one that he liked. "I guess I'll take strawberry. If only they had churro flavour though," he added jokingly, "that would really make my day…."

He smiled and giggled quietly, nodding. "That would be an interesting flavour…."

"Si…" Spain smiled.

He then grabbed out his own wallet and went up to the person behind the counter, ordering Spain's strawberry and himself a vanilla ice cream. He paid the money then grabbed the ice creams, handing Spain his.

"Here you go~."

Spain then gently grabbed his ice cream. "Gracias, Italy~."

"You're welcome~."

He grabbed Spain's free hand with his own free hand, then led him out of the ice cream place to walk to the park as he took a lick of his own ice cream, glancing at Spain. Spain meanwhile was contentedly licking his own ice cream as he held Italy's hand and walked with him.

Italy figured now that they should start a conversation. "How are your friends, Spain?"

"As fun as ever~," he replied after taking a couple of licks of his ice cream. "They're both such crackups, especially when we're together."

He then went on and on, since he loved to talk so much. He continued to talk to him about the amusing adventures of the Bad Touch Trio. Italy enjoyed listening to him, smiling and laughing as they exchanged words in their conversation. He had never really been this happy in front of anyone in a while, ever since his brother had been the way he was.

"That sounds like fun," he smiled after a while.

Spain nodded, smiling as he took a few more licks of his ice cream. "Si~."

He didn't realize that some ice cream was on his nose.

Italy giggled quietly when he seen Spain have ice cream on his nose, wiping his own nose as if to tell Spain he had ice cream there. Realizing that, he laughed quietly as he wiped the ice cream off his nose.

Then Italy went back to licking his own ice cream, thinking. "I have never done something like that, so I wouldn't know. I don't go out anywhere."

Then Spain looked at Italy and smiled still. "Maybe someone will take you one day. But really, you're not missing much. Most of those places are _so _boring…."

Italy just shrugged. "Doubt it…. fratello is very...protective...about where I go and what I do. That was why I never told him about Germany…." He knew Romano known now since he was yelling about how he had to hear from Spain about it.

Spain sighed quietly. "I'm really sorry about that, Italy…."

He shrugged indifferently. "It's okay, he would of learned one day anyways, right? I guess it would've been better that you told him while I wasn't there…."

He took another lick of his ice cream as he looked down, his eyes narrowing slightly in thought.

"I guess you're right…" he nodded. Spain wondered if he should tell him the reason why that was brought up in the conversation the night before, but he decided not to.

Italy finished up his ice cream quietly. He then sighed, wishing Germany hadn't broke up with him right in the morning when they were having breakfast. It depressed him a little that they had just made love the night before. He reached out for Spain's shirt and gripping onto it as they walked, feeling like he was by himself now and really needing to know that he wasn't alone.

Spain noticed his actions, and he wrapped his arm around him after finishing his own ice cream. But still gripped onto his shirt lightly, staring down at the ground quietly as he did.*

Spain sighed sadly, rubbing Italy's arm as he knew that something was bothering him. "Hey, it's okay…."

"I-I'm scared..." he whispered quietly, gripping his shirt slightly tighter.

"Don't be scared, Italy…." He continued his comforting actions as he looked down at him, hoping he would tell him what was scaring him.

"B-but I am..." he sniffled quietly, moving a little closer to Spain. Though he was scared too because of what Romano thought they were really doing.

"...Why are you scared, Italy…? You can tell me…."

Italy hesitantly shook his head, still looking down quietly.

He just nodded quietly. "All right, you don't have to…. But, can you smile...por favor? Even if it's just a little one...? I like seeing you smile…."

Italy slowly nodded and hesitantly looked up at him, smiling very little.*

Spain smiled back at him. "There's that smile... You know, Pr-...never mind…." He decided to keep it quiet for a little longer and looked at Italy.

"What? What were you going to say?" Italy asked quietly, now curious.

He looked at Italy still. "Well...France and I were talking about you a while back, of course saying how nice you are and what a great smile you have…and Prussia said that he would love to see that smile again. Well, then I'm like 'What do you mean again? You haven't met him yet.' But he protested and just said that he would love to see it again…."

Italy thought for a moment then shrugged. "I...don't think I have met him before..."

He shrugged. "Then he went on and on the whole night. I don't know, he's been acting really strange lately…."

He looked down quietly. Prussia had been acting very strange for a while. He remembered one day when he went over to his and Germany's house, and he found him in the bathroom, a knife to his arm. He had tried getting him to stop, but he got a little nauseous and stepped out of the room, not liking when he saw his friends hurting himself.

"Well, don't you guys drink a lot?" Italy's comment broke him away from his thoughts. "Maybe he was drunk…?"

"We do...but this was while we were driving to where we were going…. He's been very jumpy, so France and I are starting to think that this is more than just getting wasted…." Spain then shrugged after a moment. "Oh well...we'll never really know when it comes to him…."

Italy shrugged a little, still gripping onto Spain's shirt. "I don't know…. But I really don't think I have ever met him before..."

Spain shrugged again as well. "Maybe I'll introduce him to you and see if you remember him…."

He still noticed his tight grip on his shirt, and he sighed sadly.

"I don't know... His country name sounds a lot like Russia's... A-and Russia really scares me…" he whispered quietly, glancing around nervously. He was especially scared of Russia because of Romano brining him over a lot.

Confused, he then realized. "Oh, he's _nothing _like Russia." He smiled reassuringly. "He's funny, kind, and also has an "awesome" personality in general. I think you'll like him~."

"Oh…. Okay." He looked back up at him and smiled a little. "If you think so."

He nodded, smiling a little. He then glanced around, breathing in the fresh air. "It's very nice out today."

"Si, it is."

He smiled a little more and glanced around as well as he slowly started loosening his grip on Spain's shirt. Spain had glanced at Italy again, smiling. For some reason, he felt more than just happy being close to him. Then they continued to look at each other and smiled.

Spain then wondered if he should talk to Italy about his mixed emotions, but he didn't know how to. "Uh, Italy…." He still smiled as he tried thinking of what to say in his mind.

"Si?" Italy tilted his head a little curiously, wondering what he was thinking about.

"Uh..." he blushed lightly. "I know, you might think this is too fast, but...I like you. You're cute and amazing, and I'd love to know more about you...since I've already babbled enough about me…."

Italy blushed lightly, staring up at him. "R-really...?"

He nodded slowly.

He still blushed lightly as he tried thinking of what to say next. "W-well...I guess we can talk…. B-but there are some things...I really don't feel comfortable talking about to anyone..."

Spain nodded. "Okay…it's fine…. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable…."

Italy He smiled a little. "Grazie…." He gave Spain a gentle kiss on the cheek. "But after, you have to tell me more about yourself, okay~?"

Spain smiled as he felt him kiss his cheek, and he nodded. "Okay, I will~."

Italy then thought about where to start. He decided to leave all the really bad things out, and knew he wouldn't say anything about the cutting issue. He looked forwards.

"Hmm…." He then thought of something. "Well when I was a bambino, I was raised by Grandpa Rome…. When I was old enough, he taught me painting and things like that. When he died, I went to Austria, fratello did too till Austria gave him to you…. Austria always had nice music…. I lived with Austria till I was old enough to live with fratello. I allied with Germany, and he always has me train, though it isn't any fun. I guess that is most of my life without getting too detailed...but it isn't anything exciting…."

Spain felt like something was missing from when Italy was talking about himself, but he decided to leave that alone.

"Now, about yourself~." Italy smiled and looked back up at him.*

Spain nodded, having absolutely nothing to hide about his good life. "Okay. Well, I started out like most countries back in the day. I was an explorer~ a conqueror of the New World~. ...Well, if you put it that way, it sounds kinda cheesy….

"And then time went by, and then I started assuming some kind of responsibility. And then Austria gave me Roma, and let me tell you, he was one, feisty child…. Ayayay….

"Anyways, you already know, my best friends are France and Prussia, and we always go to parties and things like that, just whenever we felt like it. And I've been told that I'm good at making people smile, but I don't see it... And well, that's my story in a nutshell~."

Italy smiled and giggled quietly. "But you are good at making people smile! And your life sounds more interesting than mine."

Spain blushed a little, still not really seeing it. "Well, after living a little while, I guess the story passed on gets more interesting with every person I tell it to~. Life's what you make it, so I always try to live a little…."

"That is good, si? I wished fratello would let me out more so I could go different places and do different things…."

When they walked into the park, he led Spain over to a bench and sat down on it, looking up at him. After Spain sat down on the bench next to him, he grabbed Italy's hand gently and looked at him.

"Don't worry," he assured. "You'll be able to take that chance and seize the day."

"Maybe..." He shrugged a little.

He had blushed lightly when Spain grabbed his hand, glancing up at him before looking back down.

Spain still didn't really know if Italy liked him in return, but he decided to be a little bold, blushing lightly as he moved closer to him and hesitantly kissed his cheek. Italy blushed a little more, looking back up at him.

After a moment, he gave him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back and looking down shyly. He was a little scared since he did like Spain, but he wasn't sure how bad of a reaction Romano would have about this. Spain blushed more, and when Italy pulled back, he looked down as well.

"…Mi dispiace," he whispered shyly, blushing still.

Holding his hand, Spain smiled as he still blushed and then looked at him. "No, it's okay. Really…."

Italy hesitantly looked back up at him, squeezing his hand lightly. "R-really...?"

Spain nodded, smiling a little more. Italy had smiled a little back at him, but then glanced around, scared to give him another kiss.

After a moment, Spain gently guided his chin so that he was looking at him, smiling still as he wanted to give him a kiss.

"...M-may I...por favor?"

Italy blushed a little more as he gave him a small nod.

Spain smiled more, and then he leaned forward and kissed him gently. He was happy to feel that Italy was kissing him back, and they both closed their eyes slowly. The kiss stayed gentle as a deep blush formed on their cheeks. Spain squeezed Italy's hand very lightly, and Italy did in return.

Both of them needed a gentle kiss like this. They were both too used to actions being deep and rough or having to be forced to take it. But this was very nice for them. Spain felt his happy spirits soar, and Italy's heart was warmed by the gentle touch against his lips.

Italy was the one to pull back first, blushing a dark red still. He looked up at Spain after opening his eyes half-way. Spain looked back at Italy as he blushed as well. Italy hugged him, giggling quietly and smiling as he nuzzled him a little.

Spain smiled, and he hesitantly whispered. "…Te amo…."

Italy smiled more and blushed, nuzzling him again gently. "A-anch'io ti amo..."

Knowing that his feelings were returned, Spain was very happy.

Still smiling, Italy pulled back slightly so that he could look him in the eye. "You're not drunk, are you…? …D-do you really mean it?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, I'm not drunk." He pressed his forehead to his gently. "I really mean it, Italy."

"G-grazie~!" he giggled, kissing his cheek.

"De nada," he laughed.

Italy then looked around, seeing that it was getting late. "…Can I go back to your house, Spain?"

He nodded. "Si, of course you can."

Italy nodded, grabbing his hand. Spain had led the way back to Romano's house, where his car was still parked in the driveway.

* * *

_Beneath heaven's gaze am I found lonely  
finding solace in this peaceful place  
and here my pain so clearly shown me  
upon my own sweet tear-stained face_


	3. Chapter II

**So that was how SpaIta was born. Unfortunately, it would only be a valid pairing in the story for just a couple of more chapters. *sniff***

**By the way, all of the poems at the beginning and end of the chapters were found on various sites. They are not mine, and they belong to their respective writers.**

**Now it is Prussia's birthday, but poor Prussia...he is not in the mood to celebrate it. And neither is Italy, as you see soon that Germany has turned against him. Poor Italy..**

**Following chapter includes: ****_Very_**** brief sexual references (GerMano), fluffy SpaIta, Italy and BTT playing Spin-the-Bottle, and self injury.**

* * *

_It calls me closer, its calls me near _  
_"Just once and it'll be over" _  
_Death whispers in my ear _  
_Irresistible is its sweet entice _  
_Staring down, which one to slice…._

* * *

_The time now was Prussia's birthday._ It was a couple of months after Spain and Italy's first kiss, and their relationship had built a little since then. However, no one really knew then. Well…except for Romano.

That was how Romano was able to convince Germany to start punishing Italy, like he and Russia did already. Just a couple of nights ago, Italy went through a living hell from his ex-boyfriend, and he had been very depressed after that.

Just a while ago, Spain went back to Italy's place with him to see if they could find a change of clothes for him to wear. Little to his surprise, they found more than what they were originally searching for.

Italy's eyes widened in shock when he saw that in his very bedroom, there were two people on his bed that he now had a kindling hatred for.

He started tearing up, seeing his ex-boyfriend so close to his brother…too close. Lodged inside of him, Germany was trying to coax Romano a little, since he was in pain.

"…T-that isn't right…!" he gasped. "That's not right! A-and in my bedroom!"

Spain meanwhile was right next to Italy, staring in shock as well.

Germany was moving into the older brother, and neither of them seemed to care that there were eyes watching them as they were having sex.

"I…." Italy bit his lip. "I-I hate you guys!"

The smaller Italian got out of the room as fast as he could, falling to his knees once he was in the kitchen. He cried hard into his hands, depressed at the thought that they were doing this. Just a while ago, he and Germany were inseparable, in more ways than one. And now, he'd moved on so quickly, already giving himself away when the only time Italy would was when those savage pigs would get what they came over the house for.

Spain shut the door angrily and went to follow Italy into the kitchen. He saw Italy crying on the floor, and he knelt down beside him, rubbing his back gently.

Italy was searching desperately for a knife. He wanted one so that he could soothe his pain by adding new pictures to his arms, or his legs, whichever he preferred best. But, he knew that Spain would question him if he grabbed a knife, so he moved his hands to his thighs. He started digging his nails into them, scratching them to try injuring himself.

Spain gasped when he saw this, knowing that he was going to cause self-harm. He hated when Prussia did this, and he didn't want Italy to do it too. So, he grabbed his hands.

"No, Italy…." He shook his head.

Italy whimpered quietly, wanting his hands to be released from Spain's grip. "P-per favore! I-I can't take it anymore! Please!"

Spain shook his head again. "This is not the answer, Italy…. I know, the situation is bad, but you can't keep doing this to yourself! I'll only let go if you don't scratch again."

His eyes started watering as again he remembered when he caught Prussia cutting himself when he came to visit him.

"B-but it hurts, Spain!" he sobbed. "I-I can't take it anymore! I'm tired of the abuse and t-the rape, and I-I've had enough! I-I want to cut!"

Spain sighed sadly as one of his hands started stroking Italy's hair gently.

"I know it hurts and you can't take it…" he murmured. "But you're not alone. You're stronger than this. Those two in there…they are so fake, but you are so very strong…."

Italy shook his head as Spain let go of his hands. Then he hugged him tightly.

"I-it's not fair, Spain…! W-while fratello went to live with you, A-Austria started abusing me! H-he kept putting me into a dark room, a-and tortured me by playing the piano when I was t-trapped in there. H-he also lured me into the piano room with it b-before he'd beat me! A-and then I come here, e-expecting kindness from fratello, but no…!"

Spain rubbed his back as he listened to the other. "I wish I could've had both of you. Romano never appreciated me, and it makes me sad…. I was jealous that Austria had you…because you cared so much, and even with Austria's abuse, you stayed strong…."

The small Italian sobbed, burying his face into the other's neck. "I-I'm sorry, Spain! T-ti amo! Mi dispiace…! I promise, I-I'll never cut again, Spain! I'm sorry!"

He continued to rub his back as he listened to Italy. "It's okay…. I-I'm just tired of seeing my friends hurting themselves."

"I-I'm sorry…."

Italy kissed him gently, still very upset.

Spain pulled back a little. "It's all right, Italy…."

The vocalizing in the other room got louder and louder with each passing minute, and it made the both of them very uncomfortable.

"…C-can we leave now? I don't care about the clothes now. Maybe you can invite y-your friends over too, if you want."

He nodded at Italy's question. "We can leave, and I'd much rather be by myself with you…. I'll give you all the TLC you need, okay?"

Italy nodded and said a small "okay," before Spain grabbed his hand gently and helped him up, leading him back to the car.

The drive back to Spain's house was long and quiet. None of them said anything, and Italy had cried still when they were in the car. Eventually, the small Italian cried himself to sleep, and Spain had carried him back to the house after wiping his tears away. He had placed him on his bed so that Italy was comfortable inside as he slept.

The Spaniard's eyes then narrowed as he walked out into the kitchen. He wanted to have a word with Romano about whatever the hell just happened. Calling him, he was ready to demand a full explanation.

"…C-ciao?" said the voice on the other end.

Romano sounded very sad, but Spain couldn't care less.

"I hope you're happy," he muttered, trying to stay quiet so that Italy could sleep.

"…W-what the hell are you talking about?" Romano rasped.

"Just what the hell did we just see when we were at the house…exactly?"

Romano's answer came back as a scoff. "Germany and I having sex…? What the fuck else did it look like?"

Spain didn't want to think about Italy being depressed about what happened, so he wanted to hear Romano's side of the story. "…So I'm guessing that you told him?"

"No, dammit!" he retorted. "…He walked out when I fell asleep. Now are you going to keep asking retarded questions?"

Spain frowned. "Romano…I just want to talk to you…por favor…."

"About what?" His voice was slightly cracking. He sounded like he was about to cry.

"…I can tell you're hurting…. I want to help…."

There was a pause.

"Romano…" he called, "are you still there?"

"S-si, dammit." Romano definitely sounded like he was about to cry now.

"Romano." Spain was surprised himself by how stern his own voice sounded. "You can let it out, Romano. It's okay."

"There's nothing to let out, tomato bastard!" he shouted. "Now, why did you fucking call?"

"To check on you, you ungrateful brat!"

Spain bit his lip. He'd finally said it to Romano, and he regretted it instantly. But once he started, he couldn't stop.

"Your brother went through hell all his life, and meanwhile you took everything you had for granted! You never appreciated anything I did for you, and I taught you better than this! You were like a son to me. Do you know how it feels when a father watches his own son take advantage of everyone around him and not even able to let things out? That hurts me, Romano! Now if you don't cry right now, I swear to fucking God I will never speak to you again!"

He took deep breaths after his rant. His eyes were widened, and he forced back a regretful whimper.

Romano's voice responded after a second, sounding angrier than before. "Check on me, my ass!" His voice cracked again, but he forced himself once more not to cry as he took his anger out on Spain. "And that little whore deserves everything that's happened to him! Damn bastard, there was nothing for me to appreciate, because you've done _nothing _for me! Go to hell!"

Spain felt hurt, and he drew in a sharp breath. "I can't believe you…. I'm glad that Germany walked out on you. I'm glad he violated your ass and showed no love for you. _You're _the whore, Romano, _not _your brother! You're nothing but an ungrateful, selfish whore! And I'm not going to help, because the devil will have mercy on me. He'll make sure I don't spend eternity with your hussy ass…."

He replied a second after he finished. "For your information, I'm most certainly not a whore. The only ones I've touched that way are Italy and Germany. Italy on the other hand has been fucked by God knows how many people. And if _you_ touch him in any sexual way, I will make sure that I hurt you too."

He listened to him, and his eyes narrowed. "I would have absolutely no regrets. I don't know why I ever wasted my time with you. Don't be surprised if I never speak to you again…. Fuck you."

"Fuck you too, tomato bastard!"

Spain hung up, still feeling very hurt by everything Romano said. He rubbed his brow frustratingly, starting to feel his eyes water.

"…S-Spain…?"

He heard Italy call him from the other room, and he walked into there to check on him.

"Si, Italy?" he called. "Lo siento, I was in the kitchen."

Italy saw that Spain was crying. "…Are you okay?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and nodded. "S-si, I'm fine…. I was just on the phone…and I said things that I shouldn't have said."

"W-with who?" he asked. "What happened?"

Spain knew that he had to start from the dreaded beginning in order for Italy to understand what happened before.

"Before I begin…here's what happened at the house. …Romano's in love with Germany. He has been for a long time, but Germany does not feel the same way. What we walked in on was what we'd call a 'one-night stand,' and Germany did not show any love for Romano and left right afterwards.

"Romano was heartbroken afterwards, and when I called him…dammit he wouldn't let out his feelings. He wouldn't cry. And…I called him a brat…and an ungrateful, selfish whore, and I said that I was glad Germany walked out on him. T-the last thing he said was that if I did anything with you…he'd hurt me too."

Italy had listened to him, and he moved closer to him as he sat up. "…It's okay. At least you told him how you felt, right?"

He nodded, glancing down slightly.

"I'm sorry that my brother dragged you into this mess, too," he sighed.

"It's okay," Spain assured.

Italy looked at his face closely. "You look like you need some wine."

He nodded a little. "M-maybe I do need some."

Holding hands, the two of them went into the kitchen, grabbing the wine. They each poured two glasses for themselves and drank quietly. They each only had one glass, since neither of them wanted to get drunk.

They were enjoying themselves until there was a knock at their door.

Spain wasn't expecting company, so he was a little confused.

"I'll get it," Italy offered, and they both were a little surprised by who was at the door.

France and Prussia were standing outside with amusingly stupid grins on their faces.

"Spain, we're ready to…Italy?" France paused. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came over to see Spain," Italy smiled, still confused on why there were here.

"Well, what are _you_ guys doing here?" Spain asked.

"It's my birthday~," Prussia smiled. "Remember, Spain? We said that we were going to celebrate here."

"Oh, yeah~," he laughed. "Feliz cumpleaños~!"

"Vielen Dank~. I'm happy it snowed on my awesome birthday!"

Prussia still had a large smile on his face, but his eyes were very sad. He was supposed to enjoy his special day with a carefree attitude, but it seemed that the whole point of celebrating this year was just to keep his mind off of the depressing troubles at home.

Spain had no idea why Prussia was cutting himself, and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to find out. But he wanted his friend to enjoy himself on his special day.

Italy however was a little nervous. He'd never really met Prussia before that he knew of, and he was kind of scared being around him and France.

Spain glanced at Italy. "It's okay…." He then looked at Prussia and France again. "That sounds like fun..."

"Oh…" France murmured. "Were we interrupting something."

"No," he assured as he looked back at Italy. "Is it okay that they're here…? I'm really sorry, we planned this last night, and I forgot."

"It's okay," Italy smiled. "I don't mind."

Spain nodded as he held his hand, then he looked at his two friends again. "Okay, Prussia, what's the first thing you want to do on your birthday?"

"Hmm…I want to a lot of things. How about we turn on some music, first~?"

The Spaniard smiled when Prussia walked into the house, immediately turning on Rammstein. The German language was blasting throughout the house.

France scoffed as he covered his ears. "Not this German music."

"Kesesesese~!" He didn't care about the Frenchman's complaining, and he was just enjoying himself as he danced as carefree as if he was alone at home.

Spain then took Italy into the kitchen, still unsure if he minded them being here.

But Italy was fine with it. "Spain, I just want to ask if I can borrow some of your clothes. I don't want to be in these dirty ones."

Spain nodded right away, not wanting the other to be uncomfortable. "Sure, go ahead~."

He watched him go into the bedroom to change, and then he joined his other two friends.

Spain was startled by how loud the music was. "Come on, it's mi casa! Not the Stone Pony in Berlin!"

"So~?" Prussia smiled. "It's my birthday~!"

Spain rolled his eyes and smiled at his friend. Prussia was singing along in German while France facepalmed the entire time.

"Spain! Du hast mich~!" Prussia grinned, singing along still.

France rolled his eyes.

Spain then saw Italy come back from the bedroom. The small Italian was holding on to the pants to try and help them not fall.

He smiled a little. "You're swimming in them~. It's so cute~."

Italy blushed. "I-is not!"

"Si~." To help Italy, he took a belt that he had on already, and he handed it to his boyfriend. "Here, this will help."

Italy smiled, putting the belt on. "Grazie~."

"De nada, Italy."

The song changed to a more questionable one, one that made Prussia shudder every time he listened to it. So he quickly turned it off, shuddering.

"Okay…" he sighed, depressed. "Something else…."

"You seemed to be having a good time," France muttered.

"Ja, not so much anymore…." He pondered, trying to think of something. "I know~! Spain, can we play Spin-the-Bottle? _Bitte_?"

Spain raised a brow slightly. "Why…?"

"Because I'm bored!"

He sighed after a moment. "I guess..."

"Awesome!" Prussia grinned, hurrying into the kitchen. "Prepare for mein awesome kisses!"

France shook his head, laughing quietly. "You're so weird, mon ami…."

Then Spain glanced at Italy. "You don't have to join…."

"…I really don't know how to play," Italy admitted.

He then explained to him. "Well, you spin the bottle, and once it lands on somebody, you have to kiss them." He then called to Prussia, "No funny business, right?"

"Nein," he assured from the kitchen. "Not unless you want there to be~."

Italy nodded after a bit. "Okay, I'll play~."

"Okay," he smiled. "Remember, you can back out whenever you want to."

"I'll be all right," Italy assured.

Prussia was still in the kitchen. "Afterwards, we can play Seven Minutes in Heaven—!"

"No!"

Italy was a little startled by Spain's interruption, and once again, he didn't know how to play that. Because of the Spaniard's answer, he decided not to ask how to play.

After a moment, Prussia came back into the living room with a water bottle. "We'll use this!"

France stared at the water bottle as it was placed in the center. "…What, are we in junior high?"

Spain laughed at the comment. "Fusososososo, let's get this over with then…."

The four of them sat in a circle with the bottle in the center.

"Who should go first?" Prussia asked.

"How about you?" Spain suggested. "You're the birthday boy, after all."

"Oui," France nodded.

"Ja~."

Prussia then spun the bottle, watching it spin with his crimson red eyes. He froze when he saw that it landed on France. "Oh boy…well, PUCKER UP, FRENCHIE!"

France sighed, rolling his eyes as he reluctantly kissed Prussia.

"Eww, you have Frenchie lips…" Prussia groaned after pulling back.

"Don't call me that," he muttered. Then he looked at the bottle. "My turn~."

He spun it, and he watched as it landed on Spain.

Spain shuddered playfully. "Oh, the sheer horror…."

Italy giggled quietly at the comment as Spain hesitantly kissed France.

Then he wiped his mouth in mock disgust. "Ay…Dios mio."

The Italian giggled as he watched Spain spin the bottle. It had landed on him.

Spain looked at Italy. "Well, I guess this is a good way for you to start…."

Italy nodded, and he kissed Spain, which the Spaniard eagerly kissed back. Prussia crossed his arms as he watched them. He was depressed again, watching the two of them so happy together.

They pulled back from the kiss after a moment, and Italy glanced down.

"It's my turn now, right?" he whispered.

Spain nodded, watching as the other spun the bottle.

It landed on Prussia.

Italy was a little nervous, glancing at Prussia.

The Prussian rubbed his own arm self-consciously, pulling down his long sleeves. "It's all right…I don't bite."

Italy nodded, hesitantly kissing Prussia.

The kiss felt so right to Prussia, even if it was only short lived. It was the warmest, happiest touch he'd felt in a long time, and that warmth faded as soon as it came. After a couple of more rounds, he didn't feel like playing anymore.

Italy stood up. "I'm going to cook something."

Spain nodded, watching him go into the kitchen.

Prussia sighed after a while, and he stood up as well as he went into the bathroom. "I don't want to play anymore."

France and Spain watched him go.

"He's even more depressed than usual, Spain," France sighed quietly. "I'm worried…."

Spain nodded.

After a while, he suddenly heard a loud cry coming from the kitchen. Spain went in there to see what happened.

His eyes widened when he saw Italy sitting on the floor. He hadn't been cooking at all. New cuts ran along his arm, including a deep one in his wrist that was bleeding heavily. Tears were running down Italy's face, and he was continuing to cut into his arm.

"Italy! What are you doing?!"

His boyfriend looked up at him, very startled as he was still cutting himself.

Meanwhile, there was a sharp cry coming from the bathroom. Spain knew that cry all too well. Prussia was cutting himself too.

"N-not him too!" he cried, shaking his head.

Spain knelt down to Italy's level and carefully grabbed the knife from him. He stared at the bloody blade with tears in his eyes.

"No…!" he gasped. "Por favor, no!"

He then deliberately slapped the bladed edge against his wrist, crying out from the unfamiliar pain as he did.

_My first cut._

"A-ay Dios mio, porque mi?!"

Italy got scared, and he reached a shaking hand out so that he could grab the knife from Spain.

Spain stared at his wrist, shaking his head as he teared up. Then he started slicing his arm slowly, getting used to the pain quickly.

_It feels good._

"I'm…tired…of m-my friends…h-hurting themselves!" he gasped as he cut himself, the warm blood trickling down his arm. "I'm…s-so damn tired…!"

Italy was very scared now. "S-Spain stop! Stop it! I'm sorry! T-ti amo! Just please stop!"

The Spaniard cried harder as he looked at his bleeding arm, still slicing into it.

"W-why should I stop?!" he retorted. "N-no one else stops…n-no matter how many times I-I tell them to…! I deal with this with Prussia, and I didn't want you to do the same! I-it's killing me! A-and with Romano hating me…i-it's making it worse…!"

Italy's eyes watered more. "P-please, stop! I-I'll call Romano and tell him you didn't mean what you said! I'm sure h-he doesn't hate you! J-just _please_ stop!"

Italy hugged Spain carefully, trying to get him to calm down. After a moment, Spain stopped and dropped the bloody knife on the ground. He hugged Italy back weakly as he cried.

"I-I'm so…s-sorry, Italy!"

"I-it's okay…" he sniffled. "J-just please, don't do that again…."

He carefully helped Spain up from the floor, rubbing his back slowly.

"I-I am scared…!" he cried as he hugged Italy a little tighter.

"Don't be scared, Spain," Italy assured him quietly, leading him to the bathroom slowly.

He stayed quiet as Italy went to get the first aid supplies once in the bathroom. He then froze and saw that Prussia really did cut himself when he was in here, and he bit his lip a little. He really wished that his friends wouldn't self-harm themselves, and yet, through his own experience before, he could see why they did it.

Feeling the blade so cold on their skin, puncturing through and allowing the crimson rivers to flow and run down their arms….

He was taken out of his vision quickly when he felt Italy clean his cuts. He winced and bit his lip slightly, looking at him and shifting a little as he hesitantly spoke.

"I-I really don't know what came over me," he confessed. "I _n-never_ do this. I'm sorry."

"I-It's okay," Italy assured quietly. "A-And I promise I will try talking to fratello for you…. I-I don't think he meant anything he said to y-you."

Italy didn't really care about his own wrists, though the one where the knife slipped was bleeding badly. He just continued cleaning up Spain's cuts carefully.

Spain had reluctantly nodded as he listened to him, although he wished that he could help clean his boyfriend's cuts as well. He was definitely positive that Romano hated him now. He said those things to him, and his tone definitely showed he had no regrets.

Prussia was lost in his own little world. From all the abuse he took from his younger brother, he just felt like he shouldn't be here. He should be at home, since his orders were to not leave the house while Germany was gone. He just sang quietly in his native language, not caring who heard him since they didn't understand the language.

Italy had finished cleaning up Spain's cuts and bandaged up his arm, praying quietly in Italian as he washed off the rag. Then he hesitantly went over to the albino man, hesitantly grabbing his hand since he saw that there was blood on it.

This action earned a startled response from Prussia, and he flinched, feeling very jumpy. He didn't trust Italy at first, and he watched him cautiously. But as Italy pulled up his sleeve carefully and started slowly cleaning his cuts, the Prussian realized that he was just helping him, and he relaxed.

Prussia looked down at his arm after a moment, whimpering with a childlike sadness. "M-mein bruder didn't wish me a h-happy birthday today…."

Italy had been praying quietly still, and he stopped when he heard Prussia, looking up at him. "You have a fratello?" he asked quietly. Since he didn't remember meeting Prussia, he didn't know that he and Germany were related. He didn't really notice either, since they looked so different.

He nodded, sniffling quietly as he tried calming down. "He's younger than me, but h-he's a hell of a lot stronger. W-we used to get along s-so well, but…very recently, I…I don't know…." He didn't want to continue, since he didn't want to reveal his scarring, personal story to someone who barely knew him.

"I…I don't get along with my fratello either," Italy sighed as he continued cleaning Prussia's arm carefully. "Who is your fratello?"

Prussia bit his lip, and since he didn't want to say his name in English, he lowered his head as he spoke. "D-deutschland."

Once Italy had put it together that Prussia had said Germany, he froze, shifting his gaze to his own wrists. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, returning to cleaning Prussia's arm as he whispered in Italian again.

"…S-so you probably know him…right?"

Italy just slowly nodded as he continued praying in his native language, grabbing bandages and wrapping his arm slowly. Prussia liked hearing Italian, and he knew that he must be saying a prayer, even though he didn't understand it. He closed his eyes slowly, calming down.

Italy glanced over at Spain as he finished wrapping Prussia's arm. He walked over to the sink again and washed off the cloth again before tending to his own cuts on his wrists for now. He then quietly translated his prayer.

_"Where there is hatred, let me bring love._

_"Where there is injury, let me bring pardon._

_"Where there is discord, let me bring union._

_"Where there is doubt, let me bring faith._

_"Where there is error, let me bring truth._

_"Where there is despair, let me bring hope._

_"Where there is sadness, let me bring joy._

_"Where there is darkness, let me bring light."_

Listening to the translation quietly, Spain sighed as he looked at his depressed boyfriend. Italy was trying to clean his deep cut, but he gave up on that one as he winced slightly. Then he tended to the cuts on his waist, slowly inching his pants down just enough for him to do so.

Spain moved a little closer and looked at the neglected cut. "I-italy, that might need stitches…."

Italy froze and glanced up at Spain before looking down at his own waist. "I-it is fine."

He gently grabbed his wrist. "A-at least let me help you."

The smaller man bit his lip when Spain grabbed his wrist, but he then slowly nodded as he whispered a quiet "okay."

The Spaniard then grabbed another cloth, soaking it with cold water. "Hold still…" he whispered as he then carefully tried cleaning his deep cut, being as gentle as possible.

Meanwhile Italy winced a little and whimpered quietly, lowering his head as he bit his lip still.

"It's all right…" he whispered as he kissed his forehead gently, still being careful.

"T-that hurts though…!" he whimpered again, trying to tug his hand away slightly since he did not want Spain to try and clean it anymore.

"I'm sorry." Spain then stopped cleaning it, thinking to himself. "I'll just bandage that up, okay?"

At hearing that, Italy took a step back and shook his head. He knew the bandages would just hurt the cut more from rubbing up against it, so he wanted it to just be left alone.

"All right, all right," Spain nodded. "Sorry. Just be careful."

"O-okay," he whispered quietly as he looked down.

He knew that he had to talk to Romano for Spain, but he was scared that he might run into Germany or Russia there as well.

"I…I will go talk to fratello," he sighed after a while. "You can keep hanging out with Prussia and France. I don't really know how to do what you guys do anyways, so I might as well do something useful…si?

Spain nodded, hoping that Italy will be safe. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"…If I can."

Italy then looked down before hugging Spain and kissing him gently. After the Spaniard returned those actions, he then pulled back and quietly walked out of the bathroom.

Spain looked at Italy until he was away before glancing at Prussia. His friend had his head tilted to the side a little.

"Are you two dating or something?" he asked after a moment.

"…Sort of," he admitted, not entirely sure though.

Yes, the both liked each other, and yes, they exchanged kisses. But Spain didn't know if Italy called this a relationship.

He shrugged a little. "I didn't know that."

"I'd figure you wouldn't," he murmured.

"You two look pretty okay together."

Prussia really didn't think that. Honestly, he was oddly jealous, although there really was no explanation for it. Even though he knew how sad Spain was, he still had someone to keep him happy. Even France had someone to keep him happy, and that was his girlfriend that he was soon going to marry. They both had someone, but Prussia had nothing. No one.

The Spaniard led the both of them out of the bathroom quietly. The night was still young, but Prussia was now not really in the mood to celebrate his birthday.

"Hey…" Spain said after a moment, "I have cake…if you are up for it."

He looked at him blankly for a moment. He knew that his friends would want him to be happy on this special day, but after everything he was going through, he just didn't feel like it. But either way, he just nodded a little, forcing himself to have a fake, joyful smile.

"Okay~. Let's celebrate my awesome birthday!" he declared. "They only come once a year."

France had heard them come out, and he walked over to them. "So, let's eat it then~," he smiled.

* * *

It was a rather quiet time for the rest of the night. It was a little eerie, with the house so silent when usually, with the three of them together, the place would have looked like it was hit by a natural disaster by now.

Eventually, Prussia had to go home. Germany found out that he wasn't home, so he gave him a violent lecture over the phone. France took him home, while Spain was left alone to think.

That one moment where he held the knife to his arm was fresh in his mind. He couldn't help but think about how much the feeling of the blade on his skin pleasured him. It seemed to take all of the pain that he had away and replaced it with a new one. However, it was a dull pain, so it did not faze him.

He looked down at his bandages, sighing quietly. Maybe he should take his anger out like this from now on. Tearing apart his arm seemed better than breaking something valuable in his house.

Once again, his thoughts were interrupted. His phone was ringing, and he saw that it was Italy's number. He answered quickly, hoping that nothing was wrong.

_"S-spain…I need you. C-can you come pick me up…?"_

"What's going on?" the Spaniard froze, noticing the fear in his voice. "Italy, are you okay?"

_"S-sí," _he shivered over the phone. _"J-just, come for me, p-per favore."_

Spain then heard a startled yelp on the other end, and his tanned face went a little pale. He heard another voice, but he didn't know who it was.

"I-italy…? Are you there?"

There was no answer, just the muffled sounds of a weak cry and deep mumbling.

"Italy…?!"

Then the connection went dead

* * *

_The blood is like tears._

_You start to cry and it's a slow drip._

_But you shove in harder and you cry out as your wrists begin to sob._

_Shoving deeper and deeper, sobbing harder and harder._

_Pooling on the floor._


End file.
